The Currency of Hurry

Cole and his hurry-tendencied mom

This season is demanding. My plate is full of tasks and I struggle to figure out how I am going to create what I need to create to meet upcoming deadlines. I have found myself either hurrying or feeling hurried inside, which took me back to this post. I needed a gentle reminder. Perhaps it will nourish you as well.

Reposted from April 16, 2020

Dallas Willard taught that hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life in our day and that one of the foundational ways to care for our souls is to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives. I was introduced to his teaching while in Renovaré Institute, then given the assignment one month to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from my life as a spiritual practice. I was in a fairly simplified season of life compared to years of ministry, education, and home educating. So I thought, naively, that this won’t be that difficult because I’m in a season of simplicity. Sometimes self-deception sneaks up on me.

I swiftly realized that it doesn’t take a demanding schedule to feel hurried inside or to live hurriedly. One of my first moments of awareness that month was a morning trip to the gym. I have no capacity to hurry when I first rise, but about 45 minutes into my workout one day, I grew aware that I was speed walking to the next weight machine. Nobody was racing me there. I was just hurrying.  I stopped then slowed my steps and enjoyed some people along the way.

Upon completing my workout, I was walking to my truck, and about halfway through the parking lot, I became aware that I was speed walking. Like really fast. And I had nowhere to be. Somewhat amused at my growing self-awareness of how my body is so involuntarily trained to move quickly, I smiled as I slowed my gait. 

UNMUFFLING THE SENSES

Suddenly, I found myself awakening to the beauty of creation on that short walk to my car. And the wondrous smell of bacon venting from Toojay’s Deli. I wondered what else I had missed throughout my years of unconsciousness hurriedness. 

I was driving home and realized my heart was almost racing. To my wonder, I was even hurrying on the inside. As I attended to my racing heart, even though I wasn’t pressed for time, I was just hurrying. It seemed I had trained my body to hurry for so many years that it had been tamed into form. 

I felt compassion toward my body realizing I have driven it hard.

One of the most heart-piercing awakenings of this practice was a night when my delightfully communicative son, Cole, came into the study to excitedly share with me a story. As he talked for a few minutes, He came to an abrupt halt and said, “I’ll stop now. I can tell you’re not interested.” 

Ugh. I had injured one in whom I immensely delight, and I didn’t even know how I had inflicted the blow.

“Why do you say that?” I asked. 

“Because you look like you want me to go away.” he offered.

I realized I was wanting to complete an activity I was involved in before he came into the room to invite me into his life for a few minutes. Unbeknownst to me, I was hurrying him away so I could complete my task. 

And I felt compassion toward those whom I’ve driven hard.

Hello to the ways in which hurry impedes my ability to love. 

I asked his forgiveness and asked him to tell me the rest of his story. Again, he lavished me with grace. I saw over and over how the moment I began to hurry was the moment I lost presence, became self-obsessed, and incapable of loving others. Oh, and I happen to also run into walls as I’m turning corners in a hurry. 

I’ve been pondering how this season of a stay-at-home order is forcing us to eliminate hurry from our lives. I wonder if natural hurriers will return to a lifestyle of hurry, or if we’ll be drawn to another way of living, which fosters presence and loving God and others more deeply. 

Proverbs 19:2 says, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” I found that I both literally missed my way in states of hurry as well as my relational way, which is most important. 

Perhaps you might experiment with the practice of eliminating hurry. Like me, you might find that even though you have nowhere to be, you’re still hurrying. Or you might schedule your online appointments in such a way that you’re forced to hurry. Or, your body is so trained to hurry that it’s grateful for a season of forced unhurry. Let’s learn to care for our souls and others in this Covid-19 space so that when we re-enter our world, we are more the people we were created to be.